Gainesville, Ga. - There is a new king of the tiny balls.
In what was an expected outcome, though tinged with some drama, Ryan "Lefty McGee" White captured the 2008 Tiny Ball Championship earlier today, defeating Aaron Stump in Game Seven of the series.
"It feels good to be recognized as the greatest," White said. "I knew it, now the world does, too. I'm going to Disney World."
In defeat, Stump was less than graceful. "I think he is a chump and a cheater. If I ever see him on the street, I'll kick his teeth."
Stump should be upset, after blowing a 3-2 lead in Game Six, being up two letters to none, which forced the final game. Stump, who was the vast underdog, squandered what could have been his only chance at Tiny greatness.
"I might never play again," he said. "It just hurts too much."
White, however, may retire for different reasons. "No one is as great as I am, so every time I play, I'll just be lowering myself," he said. "I'll get worse, stoop to their level, and not be able to face myself in the mirror. I mean seriously, does Jordan play pick up games with middle schoolers?"
The game ended when White sank a deep shot from the far corner. He had not gone to his patented lefty shot in the game, which surprised many in attendance. But he beat Stump at his own game, administering the righteous right hand of defeat.
"I want to tell my wife I love her," White said. "I also want to tell Aaron's wife I love her ! I figured now was a good time."
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